>X-Sender: lori@webxs.com >Date: Tue, 02 Jul 1996 14:53:17 -0700 >To: cwhit77165@aol.com, spaniel@earthlink.net, jerry@genservices.com, > 102451.326@compuserve.com, mmyers@silcom.com, schwartz@starnetinc.com, > merlin11@snake.srv.net, mjs@atlantic.net, 102061.527@compuserve.com, > 75461.1717@compuserve.com >From: Lori Alita >Subject: Careful of them viruses :) > > > Careful of them Viruses!! > >> >> PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS: Your system works fine, but it complains loudly >> about foreign software. >> >> COLIN POWELL VIRUS: Makes its presence known, but doesn't do anything. >> Secretly, you wish it would. >> >> HILLARY CLINTON VIRUS: Files disappear, only to reappear mysteriously >> a year later, in another directory. >> >> O.J. SIMPSON VIRUS: You know it's guilty of trashing your system, but >> you just can't prove it. >> >> BOB DOLE VIRUS: Could be virulent, but it's been around too long to be >> much of a threat. >> >> STEVE FORBES VIRUS: All files are reported as the same size. >> >> PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. >> It warns you of impending hard disk attack: Once, if by LAN; twice if >> by C. >> >> POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never identifies itself as a "virus," but >> instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism." >> >> ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component in your system, just >> before the whole thing quits. >> >> TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor. >> >> DAN QUAYLE VIRUS (#2): Their is sumthing rong with your komputer, but >> ewe cant figyour outt watt! >> >> GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic >> software says everything is fine. >> >> NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of >> people really mad just thinking about it. >> >> GALLUP VIRUS: Sixty percent of the PC's infected will lose 30 percent >> of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent >> margin of error). >> >> TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file. >> >> ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple bytes out of your Apple. >> >> CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, and the screen splits in >> half with the same message appearing on each side of the screen. The >> message says that the blame for the gridlock is caused by the other >> side. >> >> AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS: You're in Dallas, but your data is in >> Singapore. >> >> FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own >> motherboard. >> >> PBS VIRUS: Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money. >> >> ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy, then self >> destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations >> across rural America. >> >> OLLIE NORTH VIRUS: Causes your printer to become a paper shredder. >> >> NIKE VIRUS: Just does it. >> >> SEARS VIRUS: Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power >> supply, and a set of shocks. >> >> JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS: Your programs can never be found again. >> >> KEVORKIAN VIRUS: Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy. >> >> STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has >> gone before. >> >> HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, >> and sends you a bill for $4,500. >> >>********************* >> >> >>. >> >> > **********Quote For The Month********** > > The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. > > Lao-tzu > > >