Pearly Questions

Paddy the Irishman died and went to Heaven. At the Pearly Gates he was met by St. Peter who told him he would have to answer three questions before being allowed to enter. The conversation which followed went:

Paddy you'll have to answer three questions before I can let you in. This not only applies to you, but to everyone who wants to pass through the Pearly Gates.

OK St. Peter. I'll try my best.

Paddy how many seconds are there in a year?

Paddy thought for awhile, his face grimacing with calculations.

There are 12 your Holiness.

St. Peter looked puzzled and asked Paddy if he was certain. Would he like to think about it some more.

No. It's twelve I'm sure.

Well, how do you figure only twleve Paddy?

St. Peter there's the 2nd of Jan, the 2nd of Feb, the 2nd of March, etc.

Well Paddy, it might not be entirely what I wanted to hear, but I give you that one. Now listen carefully and think hard. The second questions is how many days of the week start with a "T".

Paddy's mind was whirling for several minutes when he answered "4"

Four, Paddy? Come again? Think, my boy.  Is that really the answer?

Yes, it's four for certain.

Then name them, Paddy.

There's Tuesday, Thursday, ..... Today and Tomorrow.

Well Paddy I may be stretching it, but I'll let that one pass only if you
answer the last one entirely correctly. The third question is "What is my Boss's name?"

This really had Paddy stumped for a while. He thought long hard. Finally his face lite up as he replied "Howard!!"

Now Paddy, think it over. Are you certain?

Of couse I am. Every Sunday I sit in Church and say:

Our Father who art in heaven, Howard be thy name!!!!!