Well, I haven't written e-mails in quite a while, so I am a bit outta
practice.  I thought that I would write and try and make all these people
laugh... but I am not very funny on my own.  Anyhow... I found this book and
decided to write 10 things from it.  Hope it at least makes you smile.

1) Bad luck is meeting your date's father and realizing he's the pharmacist
you bought condoms from that afternoon.

2) I don't hate Yankees, but I have a friend that does.  His hobby is
reading the obituary page of the 'New York Times'.

3) Most women who suffer from PMS also seem to have ESP.  They're bitches
who know everything.

4)I have it on good authority that Yankee men are so lazy they marry
pregnant women.

5) I saw a sign on a church marquee recently that said, "Tired of sin? Come
on in!"  Underneath someone had scrawled, "If not, call Shirley, 555-3132."

6) When you ask a pouting woman, "What's wrong?" and she answers, "Nothing,"
there's something seriously wrong and it's all your fault.

7) Who was the first person to eat an oyster?

8) The next time I feel the urge to get married, I think I'll find a woman I
hate and buy her a house.

9) Why is it that in most newspapers the obituaries appear in the back of
the "Living" section?

10) Do you know what Bill Clinton does when he finishes making love?  Goes home.

                                - Lewis Grizzard

Oh.... come on!  It was funny!