REASONS WHY E-MAIL IS LIKE A PENIS: Some folks have it, some don't. Those who have it would be devastated ifit were ever cut off. They think that those who don't have it are somehowinferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong. Those whodon't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but think it's not worth thefuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those whodon't have it would like to try it.It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard toget any real work done.In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit informationconsidered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still thinkthat's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use itfor fun most of the time.Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people wouldjust play with it all day if they didn' have work to do. It provides a wayto interact with other people. Some people take this interaction veryseriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes it's hard to tell whatkind of person you're dealing with until it's too late. If you don't applythe appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses.It has no brain of its own. Instead it uses yours. If you use it toomuch, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size andinfluence warrant.If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, itwill warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself "why on earth did I dothat?" It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, itwill just do the same damn dumb things it did before.I guess the only difference is that playing with e-mail doesn't leave hair onyour palms.... I wonder if makes it you crazy go or blind ?--------------------------------------------------> THE LEARNING ANNEX> SUMMER CLASSES FOR MEN AND WOMEN>All male classes are prepared and presented by females only and all female>classes are prepared and presented by males>____________________________________________________________________>SEMINARS FOR MALES>>1. Combating stupidity>2. You, too, can do housework>3. PMS -- learn when to keep your mouth shut>4. How to fill an ice tray>5. We do not want sleazy underthings for Christmas--give us money>6. Understanding the female response to your coming home drunk at 4:00am>7. Wonderful laundry techniques (formerly titled "Don't wash my skills")>8. Parenting -- No, it doesn't end with conception>9. Get a life -- learn to cook>10. How not to act like an asshole when you're obviously wrong>11. Spelling -- even when you can get it right>12. Understanding your financial incompetance>13. You -- The Weaker Sex>14. Reasons to give flowers>15. How to stay awake after sex>16. Why it is unacceptable to relieve yourself anywhere but the bathroom>17. Garbage -- Getting it to the curb>18. You can fall asleep without "It" if you really try>19. The morning dilemma if "It's" awake. Take a shower>20. I'll wear it if I damn well please>21. How to put the toilet lid down (formerly "No, it's not a bidet")>22. "The weekend" and "sports" are not synonyms>23. Give me a break! Why we know your excuses are bullshit>24. How to go shopping with your mate and not get lost>25. The remote control -- Overcoming your dependacy>26. Romanticism - Ideas other than sex>27. Helpful postural hints for couch potatoes>28. Mothers-in-law -- They are people too>29.. Male bonding -- Leaving your friends at home>30. You too can be a designated driver>31. Seeing the true you (formerly "No, you don't look like Mel Gibson,>especially when naked!")>32. Changing your underwear -- It really works>33. The Attainable Goal -- Omitting "TITS" from your vocabulary>34. Fluffing the blankets after flatulating is NOT necessary>35. Techniques for calling home>>_______________________________________________________________________>>Now, for the females...(seminar will be given by men only) >>SEMINARS FOR WOMEN>>1. "Are you ready to leave?" -- Definition of the word "yes">2. Appropriate rhetorical questions (Formerly "Honey, do I look fat?")>3. Elementary Map Reading>4. Crying and Law Enforcement>5. Advanced Math Seminar -- Programming your VCR>6. You can go shopping for less than 4 hours>7. Gaining five pounds vs. the end of the world: a study in contrast>8. The Seven-Outfit Week>9. PMS -- It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine (was: It's Happened Monthly Since>puberty -- Deal With It)>10. Driving 101: Getting past automatic transmission>11. Driving 102: The meaning of blinking red lights>12. Driving 301: Approximating a constant speed>13. Driving 401: Makeup and Driving -- It's As Simple As Oil and Water>14. The Super Bowl: Not a Game -- A Sacrament>15. Telephone translations (was: "Me too" equals "I Love You")>16. How to Earn Your Own Money>17. Giftgiving Fundamentals (was: Fabric Bad, Electronics Good)>18. Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side>19. Know When to Say When: The Limits of Makeup>20. Beyond "Clean and Dirty": The Nuances of Wearable Laundry>21. We forget birthdays, you forget sports stats: LET'S LET IT DROP>22. MYOB: Proper response to other couple's public arguments>23. Yes, You Can Buy Condoms (was: WE learned to deal with the embarassment)>24. Joys of the Remote Control: Reaping the Benefits fo 50+ Channels>25. What goes around Comes Around-- Why his credit card is not a toy>26. The Penis: His Best Friend Can Be Yours>27. His Poker Games: Deal Yourself Out>28. Committment Schmittment (was: Wedlock Schmedlock)>29. "To Honor and Obey": Remembering the small print above "I Do">30. Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House>31. Your Mate: Selfish Bastard, or Victimized Sensitive Man-child, Healing>his Father Wound by Expressing the Latent Wild Man Within? >>>Please sign up early. Seats are limited!