Dear Tax Payers:

        The only thing that the IRS has not taxed is your penis.  This is due to the fact that it is hanging around unemployed 40% of the time...30% of the time it is pissed off, 20% of the time it is hard up.  and 10% of the time it is employed but operates in the hole.  Furthermore; it has to dependents and they are both nuts.

        Accordingly, after April 15, 1996, your penis will be taxed, based on its size, using the "Penis-Checker Scale" below.  Determine you category and insert the additional tax under "other taxes", page 2, part V, line 61 of your Standard Income Tax Form.

            PECKER CHECKER SCALE

10-12 inches..........................Luxury
Tax........................................$50.00

 8-10 inches............................Pole
Tax............................................$25.00

 6-8  inches..............................Privelege
Tax...................................$15.00

 4-5  inches...............................Nuisance
Tax...................................$ 5.00

NOTE:  Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a REFUND.  *Please do not ask for an extention!!*

NOTE 2:  MALES WITH PENIS'S IN EXCESS OF 12 INCHES SHOULD BE FILED UNDER
"CAPITAL GAINS"

                                                                  Sincerely,
                                Internal Revenue Service