> DILBERT'S LAWS OF WORK
>  
> If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
> 
> A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
> 
> Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be 
>promoted.
> 
> It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done
and what you say you're going to do.
> 
> After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the 
>month than you did before.
> 
> The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
> 
> You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
> 
> Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will
happen to you the rest of the day.
> 
> When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never
>talking about themselves.
> 
> If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn
>fool about it.
> 
> There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the
>boss asks for a ride home from the office.
> 
> Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.
> 
> Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."
> 
> Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
> 
> To err is human, to forgive is not policy.
> 
> Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is
>supposed to be doing.
> 
> If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really
>good, you will get out of it.
> 
> You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your
>desk.
> 
> People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
> 
> If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
> 
> At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the 
>number of pens that person is carrying.
> 
> When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
>
> Following the rules will not get the job done.
> 
> Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
> 
> No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
>
>The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for
>everything that goes wrong.