we all know sex is an aerobic activity, but not until recently has anyone
calculated the calories we burn while making out moves.  So plan your next
romantic evening according to follow chart:  (From Men's Health, March 96)

Phone Sex......................................................9
  Using your car phone..................................22
  While trying to parallel park.......................80
Respectful rubbing........................................17
Frantic Groping..............................................40
Romoving her Bra..........................................11
  If you can't figure out how it opens.............25
Talking Dirty to each other............................16
  In a British accent.........................................1.5
Tossing another log on the fire.....................19
  From across the room..................................50
Buying condoms, If you're:
  Uninhibited....................................................4
  Self-conscious..............................................55
  Not sure your size........................................105
Inserting Diaphragm:
  If she does it.................................................18
  If you do it.....................................................572
If it pops out....................................................11
  Chasing it......................................................57
  Retrieving it from behind Bureau................21
  From your neighbor's bird Feeder..............75