Home teaching getting you down? Can't get that annoying Priesthood Leader off your back? Home Teaching interfering with your TV and Golf? We can help! At Zion's Home Teaching Service, we'll do your Home Teaching for you. For a small monetary fee, we will send two of our trained representatives to the homes of your families.
Is $20 too much to pay for peace of mind? Call us at 1-800-752-2537. That's 1-800-S-L-A-C-K-E-R.
Because of heavy volume, an extra $15 will be added for the last day of the month.
We will send a representative to the appropriate meeting to take notes for you and report back:
Additional surcharge of 10% for stake meetings.
Did a bishopric member call and assign you a talk? Tired of wasting Saturday night preparing a lesson? Well, free up your time and just read one of our professionally prepared talks and lessons. No need to spend countless hours poring through books, writing and praying. We'll do it for you!
All talks are guaranteed to last 15 minutes.
Add $1 for each additional minute.
Due to high expectations, centerpieces and floral arrangements, Relief Society lessons are slightly higher. Call for quote.
Due to lower expectations, priesthood lessons receive a 10% discount.
Introducing our Bundle Buys and frequent shopper plan. Bundle any three services and receive a 20% discount. Receive one free basic talk or lesson with any 10 purchases.
Last but not least....Our Casserole Service! If you just can't possibly throw together food for various Ward occasions, WE CAN! Our basic services include:
More to come later! They are made from exact recipes using the authentic ingredients taken from Ward Cookbooks around the world! All for only $15 each (plus deposit), delivered to your house in Corningware marked with your name! They'll never know you didn't make 'em!
Here you have it! We take all the work off your shoulders, and put ours to the wheel just for you.
Remember our number: 1-800-S-L-A-C-K-E-R.
Return to Michael's Funnies Page