All I Really Need to Know, I Learned from The Princess Bride

Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
Never assume someone is left-handed just because they swordfight that way.
Thibault tends to cancel out Capo Ferro.
- ...Unless your enemy has studied his Agrippa.
Don't count somebody out just because you think he's dead; he may be only mostly dead.
If he is all dead, there's usually only one thing you can do...
If a man introduces himself, reveals that you killed his father, and tells you to prepare to die, RUN!
There's not a lot of money in revenge.
Never get involved in a land war in Asia.
Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.
You use different moves when you're fighting half a dozen people than when you only have to deal with one.
You can get a lot of help from some people just by giving them the opportunity to humiliate a former employer.
People in masks can not be trusted.
It's not my fault I'm the biggest and strongest; I don't even exercise.
Nobody withstands the machine.
If you find yourself in the Pit of Despair, don't even think about trying to escape.
Who says life is fair? Where is that written?
Get used to disappointment.
Sometimes, when a man says "As you wish", he's really saying "I love you".
Sometimes, when a woman treats you like low-life scum, she's really saying "I love you".
Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
Pirates are not known to be men of their words.
We are men of action. Lies do not become us.
When someone shouts "Surrender!", it's probably a command, not an offer.
If you've killed a man's father, never promise him "everything he asks for".
Plato, Aristotle, and Socates were not really morons.
Never assume that the poison is in the other glass.
When all else fails, go back to the beginning.
Don't bother leaping against a locked door. You'll never get it open. Get the strong guy to knock it down instead.
When listing your assets, don't forget about the wheelbarrow.
The bottom of a staircase is a great place for an ambush.
No matter how happy you are to see your true love, if he says "Gently!", listen to him.
There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world.
A man who says he's no one of consequence is probably lying.
He is using the same wind we are using.
Local fishermen do not take pleasure cruises at night through eel-infested waters.
This is not as easy as it looks.
There are things worse than being unemployed in Greenland.
When you meet a man with six fingers on his right hand, try not to mention that someone was looking for him.
Someday you may not mind the kissing so much.
If the people who just scared off all of your flunkies and lifted open your portcullis ask you for the gate key, don't pretend you don't have one. You'll just get your arms torn off.
Rodents Of Unusual Size really do exist.
The trees in the Fireswamp are actually quite lovely.
Take a deep breath before you dive into the lightning sand.
If you're going on a trip by boat, one sidekick who doesn't swim and one who can only dogpaddle just won't cut it.
Move the thing ... and ... that other thing!
Sometimes you just have to skip to the end.
If someone challenges you to a battle of wits, they know something you don't know.
You're very smart. Shut up.
When your evil fiance offers to help you find the man you really love, he's probably trying to kill one or both of you.
Remeber the location of that secret knot.
If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything.
The prince always gets the armrest.
Don't bother me with trifles!
You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.
An overdeveloped sense of vengeance will get you into trouble someday.
When you do something right, don't let it go to your head.

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