When To Clean Out the Fridge...

EGGS:
When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.

BREAD:
Sesame seeds and poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread. Fuzzy or hairy-looking green or white growth areas are a good indication that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment.

DAIRY PRODUCTS:
Milk is sopiled when it starts to look like yogurt.
Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese.
Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese.
Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can not generally spoil more than it already has.
Blue cheese is spoiled when you don't remember ever buying blue cheese.

FLOUR:
Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.

CANNED GOODS:
Any canned goods that have become the size and/or shape of a softball should be disposed of. Carefully.

CARROTS:
A carrot in which you can tie a clove hitch is not fresh.

RAISINS:
Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.

POTATOES:
Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.

CHIP DIP:
If you can take it out of the container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.

UNMARKED ITEMS:
You know it is well beyond prime when you're tempted to discard the Tupperware along with the food. Generally speaking, Tupperware should not burp when you open it.

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