A Fractured Dictionary

Arbitrator \ar'-bi-tray-ter\:

A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's

Avoidable \uh-voy'-duh-buhl\:

What a bullfighter tries to do

Baloney \buh-lo'-nee\:

Where some hemlines fall

Bernadette \burn'-a-det\:

The act of torching a mortgage

Burglarize \bur'-gler-ize\:

What a crook sees with

Control \kon-trol'\:

A short, ugly inmate

Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers\:

Workers who put together kitchen cabinets

Eclipse \i-klips'\:

What an English barber does for a living

Eyedropper \i'-drop-ur\:

A clumsy ophthalmologist

Heroes \hee'-rhos\:

What a guy in a boat does

Left Bank \left' bangk'\:

What the robber did when his bag was full of loot

Misty \mis'-tee\:

How golfers create divots

Paradox \par'-uh-doks\:

Two physicians

Parasites \par'-uh-sites\:

What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower

Pharmacist \farm'-uh-sist\:

A helper on the farm

Polarize \po'-lur-ize\:

What penguins see with

Primate \pri'-mat\:

Removing your spouse from in front of the TV

Relief \ree-leef'\:

What trees do in the spring

Rubberneck \rub'-er-nek\:

What you do to relax your wife

Seamstress \seem'-stres\:

Describes 250 pounds in a size six

Selfish \sel'-fish\:

What the owner of a seafood store does

Subdued \sub-dood'\:

The kind of, like, cool boat that, like, runs underwater, man

Sudafed \sood'-a-fed\:

Brought litigation against a government official